mid-week weekend

I got an email on sunday night from Dan Hurlin asking if i was interested in joining he and a few friends at his home upstate for a residency to build his new show DISFARMER. I dropped everything, asking my boss for two days off -- I told Dan that I'd give an arm to work for him. Almost literally. He is one of the most fantastically talented people I've ever met and an opportunity to work for him is rare -- i jumped at the chance.

I took the train up from pennstation on wednesday morning, arriving in Hudson around noon thirty. He was waiting for me, warmly, in his rav4. We drove through the town and ran a few errands before he brought me to his home -- a church he had purchased five years before and had spent years remodeling. A stunning edifice of a building, with towering, vaulted ceilings, and the original stained glass windows. Needless to say I was astonished, thrilled, flattered and honored to be there. I met friends of his BRIAN SELZNICK and his partner and a friend of theirs. We made puppets from cardboard. We gossipped. We watched youtube. We had witty faggy banter. We drank spritzers. We drank wine. After working for a few hours that afternoon we all piled into his suv and drove down the way to the home of another friend of dan's -- a performance artist and his partner, a photographer. it was a lovely, quaint home, on a lake. We sat on the docks with gin and tonics and chatted. I WAS IN HEAVEN. again, we drank, we gossipped, we had witty, faggy banter. There is nothing. NOTHING i'd perfer to do than drink with some old, gorgeous queens in their home on a lake and talk about the arts.

A few things i took from that dinner:
- gay people CAN be happy and successful and find love and stay together.
- the new york times is a critical mess
- dan likes to drink
- i am NOT a horrible failure at life.

It was one of those miraculous, carthartic vacations. In the best sense, I returned knowing who i was, knowing that I CAN DO IT, and that frustration is normal but cannot become habitual. Working with such talented people, being held as a trusted equal, basking in glorious country air, knowing that people DO do it. Oh god, I just want to be happy with what I'm doing and feel like I'm not just getting through it. I haven't felt this inspired to make great work ever in my life.

I made a radio: